A Narrative of Captivity

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:45:36 GMT

Imagine stumbling into your bathroom half awake tomorrow morning and reaching for this:

Random Lines

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:04:31 GMT

Random lines
or
I should've kept them secret.

a.k.a.
Tired of being tired
or
The locket that could keep it.

The ties that keep me down
Are the same as the stench that keeps me away.
And when that face brightens the room,
I long for the darkest of days.

If my name is returned home,
That day would be then lost in hell,
But the cat would be mine to keep
And the love: close enough to time. Well,

I've done this before-
Written meaningless dripping phrases.
And they've only found longing eyes
That overlook the deepening phases.

When I'm lost in time-
Well I certainly can't be found keeping my word.
But I'll write down some more nothingness-
Wait- this whole poem's absurd.

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:14:12 GMT

Ya know,

Wed, 28 May 2008 08:55:28 GMT

Sorry for being such a jerk. There's no excuse.
Well... ther is. But it doesn't make a difference.

I'm really happy you got into that awesome school.

Also, the sextet was epic.

For the love of God,

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 02:31:53 GMT

watch in full screen.

Tell me what you think!
I really really want to know.

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:53:24 GMT

Today, Hilary and I worked on another physics video. I also made another video a while back that some people seemed to like, so here they are!

Hilary and Russell's Alkaline Battery Video:

[Error: close lj-embed tag without open tag][Error: close lj-embed tag without open tag]

Russell's Oil Drop Experiment Video:

FRIENDS ONLY

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 22:14:39 GMT

After this post, they're all friends only.

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:08:38 GMT

I hate it when I over sleep my naps. I laid down at 7:15pm and it's now almost 1am. I feel like I wasted a day. Which would've happend anyway because my parents wouldn't let me go anywhere, but at least I could've talked to people if I wasn't sleeping.

I dreamed I was in my old french classroom, we had a sub, and I was sitting next to my friend John. Then I dreamed I was on a soccer field playing a game with kids from the school against a bunch of hispanic guys. I think we lost...

When I woke up, I went to the kitchen to get some OJ, and it looked kinda old but I didn't think anything of it. When I put it in my mouth, it tasted like it was carbonated. When I swallowed it, it tasted fermented. It was a very gross experience. I promptly poured out the glass and the pitcher.

Sam's coming home tomorrow. Bitter-sweet.

Thursday him and I are going with Pawpaw to our great aunt's house for thanksgiving, then our family is doing it all on that following Sunday.

A friend of mine from Mobile is coming down to see me as soon as she gets a car. I haven't seen Brandi in forever and I'm really exited. My parents don't like her so I don't know how I'm going to work that out... but I just want to see her. I plan on giving her a 'tour' or Ocean Springs, that should be fun.

God. I feel like I wasted a day.
And this OJ isn't sitting very nicely.

This sucks.

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:10:22 GMT

I have nothing to do.

Because I can't drive.

Because my parents worry to much when I do.

Because I hit a curb.

... like a month ago.

So that means I'm a bad driver and I'm going to kill someone.

Yeah.

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 16:11:00 GMT

I post alot.
But I don't really think that's a bad thing 8]

I have so many aspirations right now, so many different people I'm interested in. Yesterday this girl was sending me romantic messages, and another girl gave me her number.
Honestly, I think that's awesome, but I don't think I need it right now.

I'm going to church here in a bit, I think there's this silent auction/pot luck dinner thing afterwords. That should be alot of fun, it always is.

I'm not exited at all about the holidays coming up. Should I be? I mean, I love them- they're great. I'm just not exited or anxious for them. I always get annoyed by the two coming up, Thanksgiving and Christmas, because people seem to become different and are all the sudden more caring and considerate. It annoys me because I think it should be like that all the time. The other day at church, we prayed for things and people, and the way the prayer put it, it was because "it's the holidays." So people should get special prayers for the holidays? People should get prayers all the time.

Hm... today will be a good day.
I'm happy 8]

Oya.

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:18:40 GMT

My parents got a turntable.
I listened to Pink Floyd this morning 8D

And I think my new mp3 player came in the mail.
I don't know for sure yet. 8D

I raked my yard.
That's the only productive thing I've done today other than brush my hair/teeth.

I need to prep Sam's room and do the dishes.

Poorer Hearts.

In my mind this works out,
In my head there's not doubt of this working.
Because you're beautiful to me,
if only I could make my poor heart see.
Why cant I turn me around?
A friend's love is all that I've found.

Poorer hearts never see what you want them to see.
Life never turns out the way that it ought to be.

But I did this to me.
I'm the reason I can't make decisions.
They washed me away,
Then left me do drown in their rythems.
Why can't I come back to shore?
My weak body can't take much more.

Poorer hearts never see what you want them to see.
Life never turns out the way that it ought to be.

My heart's fallen stone.
It's cracked and it's flawed with contusions
In the shapes of their tongues,
That carried me on their illusions.
How many of you will it take,
To nudge all this back in it's place?

Poorer hearts never see what you want them to see.
Life never turns out the way that it ought to be.

8D

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:02:02 GMT

I don't care if I'm good enough for someone else, that's what I mean by 'I don't care.'
And isn't that what was wanted? So it would be easier to get past it? I thought you were.
I'm not ignorant and I'm not a fool.
I take no pleasure in anyone's pain.
I speak my mind, and I can do it in a positive way. Without being cynical and sarcastic, without using satirizing words, without cussing, and without calling people names.

I had the most amazing time of my life, but then it was shattered into pieces like and old 78rpm, violently thrown against a wall.

You can be negative and let things hurt you, I wish you wouldn't, but you can. Just don't push it on me.

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:07:10 GMT

So I just wrote a pretty deep rant.
It's kinda long, so I put it in a cut. I think you should read it though, I just hate messing up a friends page with really longs posts. lol

Here's the cut:

This is a great feeling,
Not caring,
And I rather enjoy that I don't miss it.
I've forgotten to enjoy the small things in life.

With my mind clear, though, I see so many things now.
It's almost five in the morning.
Usually, when I'd stay up late all by myself,
I'd loose my head.
I'd think about depressing things,
Like how maybe I'm not good enough.
Or smart enough.
Or rich enough.
But now, oh now, I don't even care.
And that is a great feeling.

Rather than cloud my thoughts with drama,
I sift them with trivia and philosophy.
I'm expanding my thoughts and my eyes (which makes me confused, so far),
And I love waking up each day knowing I have nothing to worry about.
Well... other than school.
And Sam.

I crave simple addictions,
basic friendship,
deep conversation,
beating the system.
I crave proving you all wrong.

I think I'm starting to realize what my mind does.
Me loosing my head,
Was my insides telling me to bail.
Nothing that puts you through that much pain and doubt is good for you.
I think it's silly that I still think about this.
I know it's not over yet, but this shows weakness,
And desire for the way things used to be.
But I don't want it.

I've pitted myself against people out of loyalty.
I hate that. I really do.
I need to be loyal to my god, my family, my self, and my morals.
That's it.

I have so much control right now.

Another Friday night!

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 07:28:33 GMT

Tonight was awesome, like every Friday night.
I bought a rockin' new jacket for $4 dollars from the thrift store, it's orange and red and beige and green plaid. AWESOME.
I went on the roof again, but this time with Melissa, and this time we went all the way to the gym. The view from there is amazing and climbing the roof of they gym is almost surreal because for a moment your whole horizon is brick-red shingle. The sky was to clear and the moon was out, the sun was setting and it gave everything a purple hint. It was a perfect day for roofing. We saw Joe drive up and we hit the deck, it felt like I was in a movie haha I told my mom and she didn't care that I went up there, but the fact that I "took" someone else with me upset her. You went on your own will, right? Yeah. I know you did, you were up there in a split second!

haha Great.

Nick stole a whole sign from the Tigers and we held it upside-down when we got back to our seats.
After the game we went to Waffle House (Melissa, Nick, and Michelle M.) and we got another pessimistic, cynical waitress. It seems to me that they all are. The new chiq wasn't ... she needs to get outta that joint as soon as she can. It turns people.

I added another verse to that song I'm writing:

But I did this to me.
I'm the reason I can't make decisions.
They washed me away,
Then left me do drown in their rhythms.
Why can't I come back to shore?
My weak body can't take much more.

I like it.

I love my friends.
They're real and open and they're themselves all the time.
No pretenders.

Why isn't everyone like that?
Life would be so much easier if we focused on impressing ourselves,
and not everyone else.

My mind.

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 04:56:01 GMT

My mind never stops racing.
It's always exploring, mentally, all the possibilities and trying to figure out all the outcomes to every possible choice.
It's not at all possible just to sit down and work it all out. That never works.
All I can do is make a choice, sprinkle a little W.W.J.D. on it, and roll with whatever comes my way.

Tonight, however, writing that last song that I posted just earlier helped me sort my random strands of thought into not as random strings of chaos.

My mind is like that 2x2x2 Rubik's Cube I couldn't figure out:
I can usually figure out one side of things,
but when I try for the other side, I just screw up the solved one.
And I can never remember how I fixed it the first time.

I said I couldn't write anything.

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 03:42:55 GMT

But I was wrong!
I just started playing, then I started singing, and this popped out:
[only one verse and a some of the chorus]

VS
In my mind this works out,
In my head there's not doubt of this working.
Because you're beautiful to me,
if only I could make my poor heart see.
Why cant I turn me around?
A friend's love is all that I've found.

CH
Poorer hearts never see what you want them to see.
Life never turns out the way that it ought to be.

To me, that's awesome.
That's like... exactly how I feel right now.
8D

I can't write anything!

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 01:28:18 GMT

Has all the passion in my life left me?
Can I not at least come up with any satisfying verses?
My mind is empty, but it's always racing.
All the sounds from my guitar sound the same.
My voice never does what I want it too.
The ink in my pen won't cooperate.

GAH.

I'm really really glad

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 03:41:08 GMT

that you're not having a baby.

... hm. That sentence could stir up alot of talk...
I just won't get into it! 8D
Now, on to a different matter:

You,
It's time you tore down the walls.
The walls that make up the tunnel you look through.
It's time you opened your eyes to the greater good.
Because this politician infested cesspool,
is my home.
And all you can see,
are the monsters the leaders pretend not to be,
you never see how much they do for their people.
You don't feel the spirit that they exude.
You don't feel the spirit that we absorb.
You're to wrapped up in who they are,
how they sing,
how they speak,
and how they collect,
to hear what they're saying.
You're to wrapped up in what they don't do for you,
to see what they do for me.

Perseus

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 04:49:05 GMT

I think that's german for something.

Today was a good day. Played/owned at band-hall-camps. Mostly because I cheated. They never realized that when ever I dealt, my team won! Physics was productive and we got to see fire, always a good thing. Lunch wasn't all that special, I did, however, throw an apple against the was and it broke open like a rock. Economics is my least favorite class. There's something fishy about Mr. Z and the crap he teaches is... well... crap. Finally, I have english. Fun fun. We watched an awful cartoon movie called Animal Farm (though it had nothing to do with the book) in Mrs. Hardy's room. That lady is crazy. Good Lord.

Sleep is overrated.

I feel like tasting fire.

I think I'm over-confident when it comes to AP Physics tests.

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 06:06:48 GMT

There were cops crawling all around my neighborhood tonight. A bunch of them were walking around with flash lights looking for this mexican dude who owns a big red truck. It was really cool, I went outside to take my trash out earlier and there was a cop walking around searching through bushes with his light. I half expected him to yell 'stop!' at me and question me about something. It's about time they started cracking down around here...

I do care. Not in the same romantic way like I used to, but I do. I'd go crazy if he hurt you and it worries me that he doesn't seem very happy. You know how it pisses me off when a guy doesn't treat his girl right, and it would especially piss me off if that happens to you.

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 02:13:56 GMT

Random: I choose not to think about anything economically because every time I do, I'm screwed.

I didn't step one foot outside my house today. I blame myself for that...
None of my plans worked out today either. Again, my fault- er, it's not really a 'fault,' it's not like it's a horribly bad thing.
I wanted to go see Across The Universe.
Oh well.

And btw,
I feel fantastic 8D

I hear things.

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 08:19:56 GMT

I hear things that make me angry, make me curl.
Things that make me want to reach out,
grab my enemy's throat,
and slam them to the ground.

But I have no enemies. So all of that builds up.
However, I do have true friends that let me blow steam.
Friends that don't act like they're better or smarter or nicer.
Though most of them are all of those.
All of them are awesome.

There's still little blemish on this thing I call life.
I gotta get some more windex...

My life.

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:41:02 GMT

Is awesome.
8D

I can't wait!

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:45:12 GMT

Okay, I guess I can, really.
But oh man! I don't want to!
We're getting laptops in AP Physics sometime soon, I think maybe in January if not earlier. They're $15,000 a piece and they're really nice. They're tablet PCs so we can take notes and do homework on them. Hah... I'm sure I'm just going to play games in class. The school is buying 100 of them along with the hardware to make our room and other places wireless network hubs (or what ever they're called) and some laptops are going to the PEP kids (yuck.) and some to teachers I assume. I think I saw our head principle with one a few months ago.

January should be an awesome month.
Very awesome indeed.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 02:51:34 GMT

Vast and clear was the sky tonight.
I could almost see you in the twilight.
But as the Earth was ground further and further away,
And Heaven's hearth blurred to grey,
You're shining stars went out of sight.

Today was pretty good. Played baseball in the band hall and got some homework that I'm not going to do in there. I got another 100 on a quiz I was totally not prepared for (or so I assumed) in AP Physics.
Youth today was great, I liked the music alot. Someone got on my nerves pretty bad, and I got on theirs too. When I said "I know you don't" it was a joke because we were joking. So sorry for any miss understandings. I will not get a ride home on Wednesdays.
I need to buy some pants... Yes. Indeed. I also need to start keeping money I get so I can do things with people. I need to call some people... three I can think of, and no not girls. Okay well two of them are but that's besides the point.
I had a load of spinach at dinner tonight. I love the stuff. My stomach doesn't care for it too much though... 8P

Random thought: Am I looking for a girl, or am I looking for the security and that feeling that one gives me?

I think this is the end of my post.
Keep it reel!

Hahaha, REEL! get it???